Skip to main content

Redone

I lost the day... the days... many more to come when I realized I don’t have a father anymore. The sadness ran for a few more until I made my own life. Many a times, I wonder how my life would have turned out with him by my side. How happy my mother would have been. How many many fights and arguments we miss to see. 

Of course, I understand nothing can bring back the soul but I miss him. Even today, even after a million years, I think I will. The funny part is, I didn’t consider myself so dear to him that today, and I still miss him. It’s probably the term "father" I miss the most. When I was young, I didn’t think of a life that my mother could have had how much she had to focus on her children than hers. It was a fast paced cinema that ran for a whole decade and today I decided to write to you about a life I missed and still am. 

There are many questions, why didn’t she find love anymore? Was I a reason she stopped herself not to?
We are all too busy, building our own life putting back together the missing pieces of the jigsaw. Now, I realize that she didn’t think of what she wanted to make out of her life. Probably, love. The one fact for which we all exist. 

The mistake could also have been her parents; the chain just keeps going up. Why didn’t they think that their daughter could have another love? Why were they too blind to understand that someday, one of the grand children is going to blog about it with ultimate frustration? The question still remains at "why!”

I do not deny that we find some kind of motivation. My mother found it in us. Now, I find none. I am old enough to think of the past than the future, thinking how it has all been until now. I am emotional in a way that it is very hard for me to put this down on a sheet of paper, let alone talk. How is it possible for a child to stop realizing and accept that there is no "father" character in one's life. I wonder what their answer will be when I am done writing this. I hope, pray and preach that someday, everyone realizes that love need not be bounded to their own self.

I am never going to get the most wanted person in my life nor will my mother. As life goes by, one stops to ask anymore. 

I stop here.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hold me

Sometimes, I wonder why my life is so blue,  when I am alone, I think of nothing more than you. When I look at the dark, a clear sky  I try to pave the way through the grey. When did I stop seeing you? Even when I day dream,  The more I stand alone,  the more I see of you. I struggle to get my thoughts to words,  I am messed up, that all I can say. I forgot that you exited in my life,  I don’t remember when it all started.  Is it on the day I stopped expecting? the night when I stop crying anymore? The mornings when I spared no time? I know you are long gone.  I am trying to get to you though I try at every second of my life now. I don’t know if I should look for reasons, all the reasons that I lost you.  I will keep trying until the day I exist the reason why you left me,  The day I start believing that I lost belief,  in many things called "life"
4 comments
More >>

Lost treasure..

C'mon wake up! Its time to get up! forget all your dreams; Wake up to where you are; before you realize, it is all a big mistake! Don't expect anything in reality to be what you dreamt of, coz you ain't the chess master here. You can always have what you want but only if you should rather,must! Nothing is planned, don't come to that conclusion. It's a big show and you ain't gonna be some grumpy audience. You should wake up to live what is in for you! Its called Life ! Live it !  P.S. This was a poem i wrote @ my previous office, retrieved :) Thanks to Somani! :D
2 comments
More >>

To ma, with love!

I did not think that I could write, About some feelings I cannot express. Many many days, I tried to tell you, All my love, that was right there. I pen down today, with tears, I realize it’s too late. You could have been here, To see your children grow; To see your wife's pride, To see how pampered mom is now. When you were right next to us, We feared to even speak. Today we yearn "If only he was here"! We console ourselves all the time, There is no point regretting. That you should rest in peace, And make heaven "Heavener". After ten years, we still hear you, In our thoughts; in our laughs. Every time mom says, "You are just like him". You live in us every day, With a brave heart, we will miss you always.
2 comments
More >>