Twenty 4 - Hours!

When all this is over,  Sooner or later, we will be away forever.  No matter what I do, I seem to have lost myself, When you are gone, I will find who I was  When all this is over,  I will hold myself closer and not let you hurt me again. For you are my worst nightmare, Someone who has the deepest fears yet acts superior. When all this is over,  I will be happy about my decision.  When all this is over,  I hope you find yourself. 

When I was looking at the kids in my apartment, I thought to myself – how simple life is. Nothing to worry, the only thing we really worried was for the next toy that our parents would buy. All I ever wanted when I grew up, is to be just like those aunties in 30’s who didn’t have to worry about exams and they can buy whatever they want. I am 30 today, I can only think of the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”. No matter where I am, the other side always seems pleasant. I am still juggling between lots of troubles within the small pleasures of life, still, it is not enough. I want to stay in my bed all day, think about nothing, make my own coffee, and sit by the window just like in movies because they always look good in movies. I am married by the way, so, when I see these movies where the married couple talk and laugh – I cannot relate my life being that green! I do not know if it ever will happen but that’s always something I look forward to though. ...

The first day of every year, my dear! You think of something new, Your life style, the travel plans, to a new you. When everyone around already knows what to do! The fifth day of every year, my dear! You do not feel the need to change, Life was a lot easier without these changes, You end up thinking about the past year. The tenth day of every year, my dear! Life is good without the need to be the "new you" Your ideas conflict between what was and what is, Your think more about going back. Once again, the first day of every year comes by, my dear! But do not think of the year that went by, You are the future of yourself. You do not need the first day of each year to find you. You will forever be better than what you were... Believe! Start now!

I have been married 12 years and my life looks like a dark patch of cloud. I am happy, my husband keeps me well but I have this constant feeling that I do not belong either with my mum or my husband. I feel void. Twelve years ago, the mornings were blissful. I waited to start my day with my new family. I finally had what i wanted all these years. A husband and my life finally (i thought) had begun. Yes, we were happy. I was at home, a home maker and my husband worked with one of the Top IT Companies. We have had good days and we have had those I wouldn’t want to talk about. Life gives you two sides of anything, right? So as days went buy, i was doing nothing but cooking and talking to people who come home and my husband but nothing more. I was asked not to go out. I was asked not to talk to strangers. Ours was a love marriage. I loved this man who once loved me for my "outgoing" personality. Now, I am in between the four walls, with whom i try to talk. I didn’t ...