Twenty 4 - Hours!

I try to forget, the many memories, the bad and the good ones It feels so vague sometimes, I remember only a speck of it. I spend most times thinking about how we should not have broken, I try to make my pause the moment I start to think about you. To a long lost louve, to the unforgettable days of nothing more than talks, The sweetest gestures, your smile and your kind heart I regret each day, thinking probably my life would have been better. Alas, the grass is always greener on the other side. When I think of you, during those troubled times, I wish each day that I meet you and probably be all wrong about the green side. I try to gather myself and promise that I will not try to think Of the life that I would have had if I was with you just once more.

When I was looking at the kids in my apartment, I thought to myself – how simple life is. Nothing to worry, the only thing we really worried was for the next toy that our parents would buy. All I ever wanted when I grew up, is to be just like those aunties in 30’s who didn’t have to worry about exams and they can buy whatever they want. I am 30 today, I can only think of the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”. No matter where I am, the other side always seems pleasant. I am still juggling between lots of troubles within the small pleasures of life, still, it is not enough. I want to stay in my bed all day, think about nothing, make my own coffee, and sit by the window just like in movies because they always look good in movies. I am married by the way, so, when I see these movies where the married couple talk and laugh – I cannot relate my life being that green! I do not know if it ever will happen but that’s always something I look forward to though. ...

This is what we dream. We all live our lives. We talk about allowing our children live their life. We say “live and let live” is our motto. Coming to reality, the laws are a little bit twisted…we listen to others gossip…We are curious to know what’s happening in our neighbor’s house. We want to know what someone else feels about the way we talk or dress… Well, can you stop yourself? We all are under the pressure... the constant pressure to impress... to not let yourself be misjudged. Why? It takes a little bit longer to realize there is nothing interesting in the neighbor’s doors anymore… takes a little longer to understand someone else could be doing the same about you... When would you really stop? When you realize you are already in the swamp? When you think there is nothing more left than ‘inner peace’? It’s the undeniable truth that we live our lives for others, not your mother but for the neighbor’s... for the people among whom you do not belong... W...