Twenty 4 - Hours!

I always look at you, in the mirror and smile, I look at you every day, thinking “life is good” Thinking I have the perfect life and I should feel happie for what I have. For the others, this may only be a dream. One day, I stop – I am not smiling at you anymore. Life seems to have paused I stare into your eyes, Why isn’t life so good anymore, is it not good anymore? I stare into the deepest thoughts and try to find – you. Your smile fades with the slightest voice. I start to think, what have I done – what am I even looking for, You want to move on, think about starting anew. Is it not too late – are you not old enough to remain happy with what you have? Your eyes seems to water to the deepest oceans I have seen. I stare at your eyes vaguely staying up with reality. You say that you are not happy anymore – with me. I blame myself saying what I missed seeing beyond that smile I struggle to make it right for you but this battle was long lost. I...

When I was looking at the kids in my apartment, I thought to myself – how simple life is. Nothing to worry, the only thing we really worried was for the next toy that our parents would buy. All I ever wanted when I grew up, is to be just like those aunties in 30’s who didn’t have to worry about exams and they can buy whatever they want. I am 30 today, I can only think of the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”. No matter where I am, the other side always seems pleasant. I am still juggling between lots of troubles within the small pleasures of life, still, it is not enough. I want to stay in my bed all day, think about nothing, make my own coffee, and sit by the window just like in movies because they always look good in movies. I am married by the way, so, when I see these movies where the married couple talk and laugh – I cannot relate my life being that green! I do not know if it ever will happen but that’s always something I look forward to though. ...

When I was born, I ruled this world. My mother and father listened to everything I said and bought me everything I wanted because they either loved me so much or I broke their ears. Time passed by, I had everything I wanted and still nothing I wanted. Every time I looked into my room there was one more of the things my friends had that I didn’t. I grew up looking more at others than looking at my own. The more I added, the happier I thought it was going to get me. I now sit in the middle of my room, looking around all things that my parents bought me. I am not sure if I should remember the irritation that I caused when they bought it for me or to remember of my times to keep up with my friends or foes. Where are my parents now? When I want them to buy me happiness in their laughs? In the super tasty food that my mum made for me which I threw away in anger? Where are the friends that I was trying to keep up with? Where am I right now?