I still love you....

How I fell in love!?

I still have a vague idea how this started, it was a wrong message I received. Like a child who found her chocolate, I was texting all day and all night. It was nice, the feeling. When he asked me, "How are you?", "How are you feeling?" after I caught cold. It was pleasant, I kept looking at my phone to see if he texted.

Something was stopping me though; I was never the first to start a conversation. Though I am still not sure why, I moved that thought out of my mind to float in love, I am not sure if I had already fallen for him.

Days went by, I saw his name blinking on my phone, and he was calling me. I panicked. I didn’t know if I could pick up the call. When I did after several seconds, I heard his voice for the first time saying "Hello", my heart sank. I was so dumbstruck that I didn’t respond for more than a minute, I was imagining a latest song tune.

Finally, I responded, "hello".

With the start, we spoke on the phone for hours; I slept hugging my phone as if it was him. I was imagining how he would look. I was able to say that he could be a little older than I was, for he spoke with so much care. I listened to him, wishing the day would never end.

After a few talks, we were talking about what I was wearing and what he should be wearing. We were so much in love that neither of us thought, “What?” It was love at first text message. I suddenly asked him, "can we meet?" and I my heartbeat was crossing 200, he quietly said "Of course, dear".

I was going to meet him. My heart pounded that I hardly slept the previous night. We agreed to meet at a famous coffee shop wearing white for identification. When I reached the coffee shop, my eyes were searching, so fast that I wished I had another pair. Suddenly, I heard someone by my ears saying "hi", I could feel his breathe.

I walked away a little bit to see him, the man who has mesmerized me all this while. He was stunning with black glares, a beard I always imagined. I looked at him with wide eyes and he showed me the way up to the coffee shop.

I was running through the menu at least for the millionth time and decided I would speak but when I looked at him, his eyes, I looked down back at the menu card. He asked me what I wanted to have, I ordered for a coffee and this time, the waiter took the menu. I ended up looking at him, while he was busy looking into his phone. My hands were shivering; I was only praying that he shouldn’t notice, he said "What happened?” I said, "Nothing". Thankfully, there was a television; I pulled myself towards the television this time hoping he would start a topic. He touched my hands and said "You could have done this at your home".

I was shy and looked at him. Our orders came, he was asking how my college was going and about my parents. I replied without asking any further question or trying to pick on a topic to continue. Ten minutes later, he promised he would drop me in college and go back to work. His work was really easy, he was a marketing manager. At least that’s what I thought, when he called or came out to meet me during work hours.

I was so happy that we met. I texted him back telling that I missed him and that the meeting was a definite move. He replied back telling "Yeah". I felt disappointed; he then again called me and said, "Let’s go out for dinner". I was surprised, two meeting in one day and for the first time. “Was that too much?”

We met for dinner, this time I was talking about my college, about exams. He then hesitated; I was able to figure something was wrong. I asked him "what happened?” He replied telling "My son is not well, and I have to leave". He dropped me back home and left without speaking. I was in too much of a shock to ask him any question. I was wondering, "Son?”

Even though we spoke for hours, I didn’t think he had a family, a family of his own. He said he was working as a marketing manager. He also spoke of his mother but never about his wife or his son. I wanted to ask him so many questions, all the love I had for him vanished that day. I was cursing myself to fall with some stranger. I was ready to tell him that I wanted to move on but I was confused about what he was feeling.

He called me that night, said that his son has come down with fever, I was trying to sound as interested as possible but he probably guessed. I asked him "You are married?". He instantly replied without feeling any betrayal, "Yes, didn’t you know". I lost it there; I screamed at him, I didn’t think before I spoke. I hung up saying "Bye". Only five minutes later, he called me; I was hesitant but wanted to hear his side of the story. I said "Mmmmm", he understood. He said he was sorry, I didn’t listen, I tried not to.

He explained how he was married to a women he didn’t love only for the sake of his parents. He married when he was 23 yrs. His father was ill and wished to see his son married before he died, without any second thought the son agreed. He was married a month later. "Yes" he said, “I married even before I knew her, she obviously doesn’t complain, she loves me but I never feel anything for her. My mother wanted a grandchild, after many attempts, a son".

I was listening him talk, he was so confident when he told me that he never found love. Then, he found me. My heart started to do all its possible reactions. I said "OK" and hung up. I was looking at my phone, waiting for his call. He didn’t this time and I slept that night with a smile.

To be continued.......