Skip to main content

When i need you...


Time changes many aspects of life.... 

Your mind... Your goal...your thoughts... And ultimately the person you want to be and the people you want to be with. 

My mind is the weakest on the day when I think "it will pass". I try to think that it will be over before I know it. Most of the times, it’s always one of the hardest days to pass. I think of ways that I could have changed but all I have in my mind is thinking "I don’t want this to repeat, not in mine, not others". Even when I have lost someone, a friend because of my dumb reactions, I wait. I wait until things will come back to normal. 

The time I wait becomes the toughest, even climbing the "Himalayas" could be easier because I know I have to wait for forgiveness, I have to wait for circumstances to come back to what it once was and then it gets me thinking... "What if I can't be the same person after all?" "Will the wait change the person I am?" The truth I think is, it will. It will change many things between us. I am scared of this now. 

Well let’s think...If everything goes well between us, the fear of a situation to occur again will always be in my head, I do not know of my friend’s. The fear of going back to the insecure feeling will come back to me. I will now become dependent on this person because I try to give as much a space and try to work things out between us all the time. So, ultimately I will be submissive the whole time because of this fear. 

Another thought... If it doesn’t go well, I will probably crib for a few months. I would even think of ways my friend could have come for me if I really meant that much but again here, I would be waiting with a tiny bit luck to see if I really meant to be someone’s lucky one. I will yet be confused to decide.

My mind is the one that is thinking practically and asking me to let go of the thoughts because if I was so meaningful in someone's life, the other person would also try as hard as I think I did.

My heart says you waited this long, wait a little longer so that you can decide if it was worth the wait or take this as an experience.

Many circumstances life brings us, some I bring myself to...Time at the moment seems to be my only answer (to the heart) and trying as hard as I can (to my mind). 

If you could just talk to me now, I only hope life would still be a little better to me regardless of what it has to be.

Signing off yet again clueless to a life I don’t know is meant to be mine. 


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

That one photo

When you know the life is cruel at least in your mind, you shuffle through your books, only to find the one photo that makes you want to go back in time. If there were a time machine, you would go back at least a trillion times so you can enjoy every second more. Someday, when you are happy, you still shuffle through your books and still find that one photo which was the happiest. We all have that one photo and that one day when we want to go back in time and feel better for the happy times we have had, the friends we shared, the moments we want to relive. You would, have a happy moment again, someday, you will pick that photo up when you have a cruel, sad or even a happy day and feel better about your life so you can create more memories! Cheers! Written by, Srividhya Lalitha
Post a Comment
More >>

Shut up!

I started writing a poem when i began then, i thought it doesnt make sense. I was frustrated and started wrting a para. Constant thoughts, about what i ask myself! Of situations I do not have a hold on. There is nothing i can do but i keep thinking of all the non-sense situations - EXPECTATIONS, this is the mother of all thoughts. I ask myself to keep the thinking shutter down because no matter what i think, i am still in the situation where my head has gone beyond the capacity to think and started writing. Wouldnt it have been simple if you could say anything, do anything? no one to convince? no one to judge you? Life would have been wonderful but we are at a big "NO" for an answer. Now, I am getting back to what i was not thinking. Adieu.
Post a Comment
More >>

See you again!

I try to forget, the many memories, the bad and the good ones It feels so vague sometimes, I remember only a speck of it. I spend most times thinking about how we should not have broken, I try to make my pause the moment I start to think about you. To a long lost louve, to the unforgettable days of nothing more than talks, The sweetest gestures, your smile and your kind heart I regret each day, thinking probably my life would have been better. Alas, the grass is always greener on the other side. When I think of you, during those troubled times, I wish each day that I meet you and probably be all wrong about the green side. I try to gather myself and promise that I will not try to think Of the life that I would have had if I was with you just once more.
Post a Comment
More >>