Redone

I lost the day... the days... many more to come when I realized I don’t have a father anymore. The sadness ran for a few more until I made my own life. Many a times, I wonder how my life would have turned out with him by my side. How happy my mother would have been. How many many fights and arguments we miss to see. 

Of course, I understand nothing can bring back the soul but I miss him. Even today, even after a million years, I think I will. The funny part is, I didn’t consider myself so dear to him that today, and I still miss him. It’s probably the term "father" I miss the most. When I was young, I didn’t think of a life that my mother could have had how much she had to focus on her children than hers. It was a fast paced cinema that ran for a whole decade and today I decided to write to you about a life I missed and still am. 

There are many questions, why didn’t she find love anymore? Was I a reason she stopped herself not to?

We are all too busy, building our own life putting back together the missing pieces of the jigsaw. Now, I realize that she didn’t think of what she wanted to make out of her life. Probably, love. The one fact for which we all exist. 

The mistake could also have been her parents; the chain just keeps going up. Why didn’t they think that their daughter could have another love? Why were they too blind to understand that someday, one of the grand children is going to blog about it with ultimate frustration? The question still remains at "why!”

I do not deny that we find some kind of motivation. My mother found it in us. Now, I find none. I am old enough to think of the past than the future, thinking how it has all been until now. I am emotional in a way that it is very hard for me to put this down on a sheet of paper, let alone talk. How is it possible for a child to stop realizing and accept that there is no "father" character in one's life. I wonder what their answer will be when I am done writing this. I hope, pray and preach that someday, everyone realizes that love need not be bounded to their own self.

I am never going to get the most wanted person in my life nor will my mother. As life goes by, one stops to ask anymore. 

I stop here.