Life is a “vicious” cycle. There will be no end until you end. After 30 yrs, I am a long way to find my purpose. In the young mind, I already want to know why. Why all the hustle? Why all the trouble? Why all the greed for more money and power? I am probably in a confused state to define any of the above.
I want to know why I am born, why the changes in my life have made me think if this is worthy to prove as any purpose. Do many think that about the purpose of life? I do not have many challenges in life because when my life is smooth, I tend to keep it like that.
Why look for new challenges and create a mess in the already messed up life?
These days, I just want to be in solitude, left in my thoughts. A perfect situation while I sit by the shore wondering what I am doing. I need a break from many things that are happening in my life and others that I pressure to happen. Either way, I just want it all to stop. I want to calm down, shout out loud, scream to my life that it has to end and give me a reason.
Yesterday was one such evening that I was standing in front of an almost farm and achieved “being calm”. It was nice. The feeling when you do not want to think about your life for those few minutes which lasted to twenty. I was thinking about the clouds, the grass, the farm, so green that life didn’t mean anything to me anymore.
I do not know if it is normal to have tears while I am writing this. I still remain as a clueless human being, wondering what makes out of life. Why the struggle through the end? I remain puzzled at reactions, greed and the power that every claims to wait for, to kill for. We remain immortals even after a million years but the greed is for the years we live through. Why?
The average age of a person comes to 50 these days in my country. Why?
Work for money, live for money and spend some on yourself and others you love. Why?
Perception could be an easy answer to this question but no. That is not the perfect answer. No matter which angle you look into your own life, greed exists. Even in the tinniest matter like not letting another person to take the last item in the store because you are important, your family is important. We carry great pride in telling that you struggled to get the last item in the store after an argument. Why?
Learn from others mistake is not easy because the moment it implies in your life, it gives a whole new angle. Things you always did look different now. I have implied it and now I am in a fix. I am looking for a meaning why we live, why we exist, why there is no other option than to live in the life that is given to you but with a choice to make it better. I want to know what choice I have to make to find the purpose. I sit alone once again in thoughts too deep to make waves. In a mind lost only in thoughts of my actions, others’ life and their mistakes.
I want to know why I am born, why the changes in my life have made me think if this is worthy to prove as any purpose. Do many think that about the purpose of life? I do not have many challenges in life because when my life is smooth, I tend to keep it like that.
Why look for new challenges and create a mess in the already messed up life?
These days, I just want to be in solitude, left in my thoughts. A perfect situation while I sit by the shore wondering what I am doing. I need a break from many things that are happening in my life and others that I pressure to happen. Either way, I just want it all to stop. I want to calm down, shout out loud, scream to my life that it has to end and give me a reason.
Yesterday was one such evening that I was standing in front of an almost farm and achieved “being calm”. It was nice. The feeling when you do not want to think about your life for those few minutes which lasted to twenty. I was thinking about the clouds, the grass, the farm, so green that life didn’t mean anything to me anymore.
I do not know if it is normal to have tears while I am writing this. I still remain as a clueless human being, wondering what makes out of life. Why the struggle through the end? I remain puzzled at reactions, greed and the power that every claims to wait for, to kill for. We remain immortals even after a million years but the greed is for the years we live through. Why?
The average age of a person comes to 50 these days in my country. Why?
Work for money, live for money and spend some on yourself and others you love. Why?
Perception could be an easy answer to this question but no. That is not the perfect answer. No matter which angle you look into your own life, greed exists. Even in the tinniest matter like not letting another person to take the last item in the store because you are important, your family is important. We carry great pride in telling that you struggled to get the last item in the store after an argument. Why?
Learn from others mistake is not easy because the moment it implies in your life, it gives a whole new angle. Things you always did look different now. I have implied it and now I am in a fix. I am looking for a meaning why we live, why we exist, why there is no other option than to live in the life that is given to you but with a choice to make it better. I want to know what choice I have to make to find the purpose. I sit alone once again in thoughts too deep to make waves. In a mind lost only in thoughts of my actions, others’ life and their mistakes.
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