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A Final recap!

I smile when I look at you... everything seems beautiful. You, my life, my children. Even though I am old, even though I do not understand like you do; I am happy where I am. I lost my husband a few months ago, you think I don’t understand; only I ignored. There are many stories that I want to tell you but I just can’t find the words to tell them all.

You give me a pity look every time I cross you. I have nothing to do the entire day but to look at the sky and wish "take me away". When I tell you, I do not want to live; there is nothing more I want than this, than being with you for the last days. I have lived my life for 86 wonderful years and now, u think I will be gone soon. I used to feel insecure; the thought of my life that will come to an end shook my very core. I couldn’t do anything about it though; no one can do anything about it. I started to talk, talk things in my head that you couldn’t understand.

When my heart bleeds, I ask for a few more days with you. I called for help! I knew I was dying. I knew deep inside there is nothing I can do about it. I stayed with you as long as I could. I lost my husband but losing you would mean the world. I still remain misunderstood on my feelings. I speak to you while you cook a meal, when you do your chores. I understand when you feel tired; I know I am the reason for all this. I am going through a lot of pain nothing more than what you are doing to keep me alive a few more days. I keep my head clear looking at the sky every single minute of the day to give me a peaceful death.

It was destiny; I believe that took me back. When fate decided that I have spent enough time with you. Well, am happy now without any regrets. I have seen you smile with me and now I have to see you cry, that is the difference.

Now, that I can still see you while I am gone. I know all of you loved me as much as I did. There is nothing more I wish to see than to feel happy at you missing me while I am gone. I am sad that I am not next to you while you cry... while you wish i could wake up any minute from a sleep too long to end. I am sorry my dear, I have met my ends. This however, does not mean that I am going away from you. With all my love, I will remain with you, in your thoughts, in your children, in your smile. Remember, I will always smile back you, love.

Love you my child,
Your mother!

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