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When i wanted you to leave..

I could start writing this like a sad story, when you left me and i never felt more lost! I try to understand all the truth, the lies, the fake reasons. There was nothing you did not do. Fooling around like a gurl with a candy. When i was with you, there was nothing more i asked the lord than asking you to go away. Deep inside, I have always known that you are not the one. Tragedy I call it, even when i knew everything, i didnt ask you why! Now, who is the biggest loser? The darkest days of my life lasted for three whole years. My young life was gone by looking into your eyes and trying to figure out, if at some point if you ever loved me. Should i have asked myself if i really like you? No i didnt.Until i saw you, saw us from the outside trying to learn what i was missing the whole time. I found that i was not missing you anymore, i miss my life, my friends, my family.Three years shadowed my loves! Someone i should have given attention to and not to your dumb jokes. Why was i even listening? I sat down to the lord asking for forgiveness for all that I have done. For being a fool, when the solution was right in front me! The days were so bad that even if we argued, i gave up. You lost me there, you didnt have to wait for the "end" to figure out that i was not with you anymore, that i am not yours anymore. This didnt mean my interest grew with someone else, only, i didnt want to feel like this ever in my life. I have learnt a hard lesson, this i will not advice anyone on. The three precious years of my gone, with you, i was never happy. Even though we laughed, i really didnt feel anything close to "this is it". Probably i was too young to understand this, probably not. I was too blind. I did what i want. I left you...I left you to better day, to my life. I am happy, with all my heart. Your lies, your life is unforgivable. There is nothing you can do to change what you are. I now know, you never belonged to my life. I am glad you left me when i wanted you to.

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