Skip to main content

Nope!

I am writing this from a test center, with all the pain in the heart! I am back to what i was thinking a yr ago…somehow I think I couldn’t convince myself that life moves on, no matter what u do. It’s just a day after another even though the days have been good. I am not asking to reverse all that has happened...only hoping that all of it happened for a certain reason that I still am trying to complete.
There is nothing called as a reason for life or as any other person would think as a purpose of life. You are not born to be the best of all sometimes; it is just making the people around you happy. I am not sure if someone else reads this, he/she would think that there is something wrong in my head, and I would never disagree. Something is wrong... I look happy to others. But, I am not happy on the inside… I am looking for a 'happily ever after life' which am sure no one is going to feel. Even if there’s everything in your life, there are still something’s missing... the sparkle.... like i read in a novel recently.
Sometimes, i just make life look so terrible to live in. Can’t handle anything; I run away from all…and my choices become the biggest challenge. I am a very confident person on the outside but on the inside, I keep questioning myself.
Again, the question is why should i care for others? Why should i make them happy? What do i seek? I am loaded with questions, i am not sure if it because of my age or my head. It all questions alright and don’t have answers to all. I can’t ask this to anyone for they would think I am the biggest fool in the world or maybe they won't. I am not sure what life has for me, I am scared as well as happy all in the same time. Just hoping things would work out okay if not best!
That’s all for now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hold me

Sometimes, I wonder why my life is so blue,  when I am alone, I think of nothing more than you. When I look at the dark, a clear sky  I try to pave the way through the grey. When did I stop seeing you? Even when I day dream,  The more I stand alone,  the more I see of you. I struggle to get my thoughts to words,  I am messed up, that all I can say. I forgot that you exited in my life,  I don’t remember when it all started.  Is it on the day I stopped expecting? the night when I stop crying anymore? The mornings when I spared no time? I know you are long gone.  I am trying to get to you though I try at every second of my life now. I don’t know if I should look for reasons, all the reasons that I lost you.  I will keep trying until the day I exist the reason why you left me,  The day I start believing that I lost belief,  in many things called "life"
4 comments
More >>

I believe in you

I always thought "your life is your consequence" which means your decision (right or wrong) is what you live (your life). While I am trying to clear my head over matters that I never planned or wasn't ready to face, I believe in you. When the child crossing the road hit by a truck is still alive, I would have debated that he was probably not hit in the vital organs, blah, and blah, blah. Now, I say it’s his "destiny", he is not meant to die. The purpose of his life is not fulfilled. My friends tried to convince me that life happens because it’s destiny. I argued its always ones' decision that makes life. If I argue now, I would say (now) partly for destiny and decisions. The example, when you pass in exams - you determine to pass or fail. You know that life will not be any better if the high scores reflected on the mark sheets. That's a decision, isn't it? Another one, when a family went to Indore (a place in India) for a picnic by the river, onl...
Post a Comment
More >>

I still love you....

How I fell in love!? I still have a vague idea how this started, it was a wrong message I received. Like a child who found her chocolate, I was texting all day and all night. It was nice, the feeling. When he asked me, "How are you?", "How are you feeling?" after I caught cold. It was pleasant, I kept looking at my phone to see if he texted. Something was stopping me though; I was never the first to start a conversation. Though I am still not sure why, I moved that thought out of my mind to float in love, I am not sure if I had already fallen for him. Days went by, I saw his name blinking on my phone, and he was calling me. I panicked. I didn’t know if I could pick up the call. When I did after several seconds, I heard his voice for the first time saying "Hello", my heart sank. I was so dumbstruck that I didn’t respond for more than a minute, I was imagining a latest song tune. Finally, I responded, "hello". With the start, we spoke on the p...
2 comments
More >>